Appropriating the Dozens

The other night I was reading my two-year-old son the Bill Cosby "Little Bill" book The Meanest Thing to Say, which is about the urban playground game "Dozens" where two guys go back and forth trading insults (how white do I sound trying to explain this?). You know - Your momma's so fat she has other mommas orbiting her. Stuff like that. About five years ago I bought the missus Snaps!, a book full of insults that's definitely not meant for the youngsters. Now (and all this was build up just so I had an excuse to steal from another website) just in time for tonight's debate, McSweeney's gives us Republican Dozens. You can check them all out here, but these are my favorites:
Your mother's SUV is so old, it takes four gallons to go around the mansion.

You're so unpatriotic, you once asked a question pertaining to the president.

Your house is so small, it has just a two-car garage.

Your mother's shoes are sensible—in the bad sense, like socialism.

Your fraternity is so ghetto it's located not in a student ghetto, but a real one, with ethnics and everything.



At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The girls have the Little Bill books. I think they use The Meanest Thing to say as a guidebook. They refer to it when they run out of their own ideas for being mean to one another.

oh and the girls are totally into the "Your Momma" jokes...their favorite is Your Momma is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up". I try not to take it personally.

At 6:49 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Although much raunchier, Chappelle's Show did a terrific skit of this very phenomenon with "The Player Haters Ball." One example:

"What can I say about that suit that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? It's bombed out and depleted."

At 7:22 AM, Blogger Mark said...

That goes back to another Cosby thing:

Rudy, you like school in the summertime, no class.


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